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Module 4: Break Through Approach Anxiety
(Answer to Formless)

Hey, guys. It’s RJ once again with another Answers to Students video module. This is for a student named Formless. Actually, in this Answers to Students video module, a big part of my answer is going to be asking you some questions, Formless, which I would like you to respond to in the members’ forum. Then I can record a subsequent video where I’ll follow up on your answers.

Essentially his problem is that he gets a lot of bad feelings when it comes to approaching women. He feels tightness in his chest. His chest gets so tight that he can’t even say anything.

Interestingly enough, he had an experience, where for some reason, he was able to squeak something out at a girl. As soon as he did that, everything seemed to expand. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from talking to girls for the rest of the day. As he described himself as having the problem, he also had situations where the problem didn’t take place.

Let’s see how we can help Formless. First and foremost, as a teacher, I always want to look for the resource. Sometimes students who have been stuck in an area of life that’s been unresourceful and painful for a long time lose the ability to see when they’re being resourceful. Even when they are being resourceful for a day, as Formless apparently was—I affirm you still can be. I own that you still can be—the resource becomes an accident. We don’t want that. We want the resource to be just that, a resource.

Look at the word, “resource.” “Re” means “again.” “Source” means “something of value.” To revisit that source makes it a resource rather than just an event. Somewhere in you, you were able to reverse the problem. Even better news is that that part of your mind that was able to reserve that problem is still there.

I think we have two goals. The first is to find out how you reversed the problem that one special time and teach you to repeat that, whatever it was—that sound you made or how the feelings reversed themselves.

The second is to make sure we can contact, energize and cultivate that part of your consciousness that was able to help you make that breakthrough. It’s not just that one individual breakthrough. I’d like to make that part of your mind that can generate breakthroughs available to you at all times.

Here’s the first way of reaching Goal 1. These are questions I would like you to ask. Sometimes in these video modules, they’re answers, but the answers are questions I’d like feedback on.

How did you break through that special time? You managed to squeak something out. I like that word, “squeak.” I think you said “nice shoes,” but you squeaked it out. The feeling started to reserve itself.

If you can put yourself back to the feeling being reserved, where exactly did it start to reverse, then where did it flow? You felt your chest start to expand. Something freed you up. Then you couldn’t stop yourself from approaching the rest of the day.

Here are my diagnostic questions. Take the time to go through each one of these. Do you remember what position your body was in when you squeaked something out? Were you bent over? Were you standing up straight? Were you moving? Were you still? How was your body positioned in space and in relation to the girl?

Do you remember whether or not you took a breath in before you squeaked out your answers? How soon after the squeak did you feel your tightness reversing? Was it immediate? Was there a lag time? These are important things I want you to think through.

What was the first sign on the inside, the first signal that let you know the feeling had started to reverse itself? You said you were not able to stop yourself. What did that feel like in your body, that feeling of not being able to stop yourself? Where did you feel the feelings flow in your body? How did you feel connected both to individual parts of the body and the body as a whole? These are really important questions as we affirm, move toward, and assist you in owning that ability.

Goal 2 is to teach you how to contact that part of your consciousness that helped you have that breakthrough. I want to teach you a very brief self-hypnosis method. This is taken from Silva Mind Control. I acknowledge them and credit them for this.

Basically, here’s the way this works. You’re going to sit down in a comfortable chair or lay down in bed, but make sure you don’t go to sleep. You’re going to use the 333222111 Method. You’re going to take a couple of deep breaths and put very light pressure between your thumb and forefinger. That’s going to be your trance anchor.

Touch your thumb to your forefinger. Then you’re going to count, “333222111, 333222111.” Each time you say the number three, I want you to visualize it as printed right up in the middle of your forehead. Turn your eyes up 45 degrees very gently and imagine you can see it there on the screen in your mind.

“333222111.” Then you’re going to say, “I now ask that creative part of my mind that has helped me break through to accept my thanks, gratitude and love. I ask that you, that powerful part of my mind, be here for me, serve me and assist me to attain my goals for my highest good and the good of all concerned.” You can write this pattern down if you want to.

I want you to breathe deeply. As you breathe out through your mouth, I want you to imagine that that breath is golden light that you’re sending to that part of your consciousness as a gift. I know this may sound New Age, but it actually works. Feel a sense of love flowing between you and that part of yourself. Do this for about three minutes.

I want you to close this by simply nodding your head with a feeling of course. “This is happening now. This is completed and done.” Then you can go to sleep or count yourself back up, “111222333.”

I want you to do these things and answer the questions. We’ll get back to you next month with another module.


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